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I don't know if you have ever been ambushed on the way out of Waterstones before, but if you haven't, let me tell you now, it's an odd feeling. Outside Sainsburys, fair enough, but Waterstones? It just shouldn't happen. I had just been in to see Andrew Strauss - he called me dude - when a man attacked me from the right. Being slightly cynical of anyone who attacks me on the street, my natural reaction was that this man was a chugger. But as I tried to walk away, he followed me. Assuming he was trying to ask me what hair product I used, I turned towards him. He then said something about 'press' and 'quick interview'. My ears pricked up. The above video is the result.
The bizarre thing is that it lasts only 20 seconds. While it was happening I could have sworn it was lasting a lifetime. I could also have sworn I said 'brilliant' every other word instead of just twice, and finally, I was pretty sure I spent most of my time looking away from the camera. I am more than happy to see that I was just being paranoid. Mostly. Unfortunately, it's not all good news. In years to come I will be haunted by two things. My strange jaw movements and sudden head jerking is one. My gingerness is the other. The first I can probably work on, the second needs some serious man management. As a result, I have decided to start shaving every hour for the rest of my life and not letting my hair grown longer than 10mm. (That's the hair on my head obviously - the hair on my chin doesn't grow one centimetre every hour. That would be ridiculous).
And two things about what I actually said. When I said Andrew Strauss wasn't a natural leader, I actually meant natural captain. There is a major difference. Sorry about that dude. And when I said egos, that wasn't a cheap shot at KP. I was, rather inarticulately I admit, trying to suggest that to be a captain, you have to understand what makes everyone tick and not just expect them to go your way - 'The KP Way' as it was when he was capitano. Something the dude Straussy seems to have done very well. I should probably have just said that, shouldn't I?
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Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteThanks dude(ess).
ReplyDeleteThe extreme close-up is awful and exaggerates both the gingerness and the head movements. Good words though. Practice not moving your head.
ReplyDeleteHmm, I think I noticed the funny head movements at the time. Also it did seem to last forever.
ReplyDelete@Marc: Thanks! Will work on it.
ReplyDelete@Sarah: I counted four. Three in the first five seconds. It shows I am already making progress. Next time, hold my head still.
"hello its jon" *wink*!!! hahaha BRILLIANT wouldn't worry about the head movements, you never do it on the radio
ReplyDeleteSo you think that someone holding your head still would make you appear more normal?
ReplyDeleteI think it's a quite marvellous interview. I like your voice - you sound like I expected you to.
ReplyDelete@Nick: Good point.
ReplyDelete@Sarah: More normal? Are you suggesting I don't look normal?
@SarahC: That's very kind of you. I also like my voice and am glad my vocals did not cause you great disappointment.
I thought that was a very eloquent interview. For me the problem is the the freeze shot before the video starts. Looks like you have just been caught shop lifting.
ReplyDeleteHow dare you! I have never been caught shop lifting in my life.
ReplyDeleteUm, no?
ReplyDeleteSo few of us have ever lifted a shop. Shoplifting, on the other hand, is rife.
ReplyDelete@Sarah: Really no need for the question mark was there?
ReplyDelete@Marc: I obviously couldn't say that better myself.
Are you saying that you've never shop lifted or that you've never been CAUGHT shop lifting? I think there's an important distinction to be made here.
ReplyDeleteI can confirm that I have never shoplifted or shop lifted and as a result I have never been caught.
ReplyDeleteWondering why I wrote shoplifting as 2 words??? Ho hum.
ReplyDelete