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Showing posts with label Parody. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parody. Show all posts
The Night The Fakeon Died
// By Jonathan


It was compelling. It was absorbing. It was gripping. And that made it brilliant.

Discounting anything sports related or anything from The Beach Boys back catalogue, it was quite possibly the best thing I have ever heard. I am of course not talking about Richard Bacon's stand-up show. That in itself was something of a disaster. I'm referring to everything that surrounded it. The concept. The build-up. The post-show reaction. This was Bacon at his best. Almost unmissable radio. You could hear his fear as he waited backstage, just seconds from his big moment. Goodness knows how he held it together to continue broadcasting his radio show. I remember being petrified waiting to take my French Oral exam. I would never have been able to present a radio show at that moment. And I am really good at talking into a microphone. But to give Bacon his dues, he did it. And then he did his routine.

My goodness it was bad. It was like listening to someone dig a grave with spoon. He wasn't going anywhere good or fast, yet he kept going. And going. And going. As a general rule, I don't laugh at something if I don't think it's funny. I didn't laugh much last night. If at all. It's hard to know whether the Bacon died due to the constraints of having to perform on the radio or whether he was just out of his depth. It doesn't really matter though. The bare facts show it wasn't great. And that's heart-wrenching.

I mean, it seems really unfair that in years to come this will be looked upon in the same way as we look at 19 Keys or the day Richard met Barack Obama's barber. But that is sadly what will happen. Uploaded to YouTube will be 13 minutes of pure cringe. The comments will fly in, 'WTF is this??!!', 'OMG this guy died ha ha ha', 'I wonder what this guy is doing now?!', 'This is brilliant!'. The latter from a Mr D Wallace.

Of course this has a massive impact on me. As I said in my last post, Bacon's performance would make me look good. Or bad. I can already imagine the conversation with my wife, "Jon darling, is it true that you used to parody this guy?", "Yes Jordan, that's right.", "You really are a very strange man. I don't think I want you to father our child." The thing is, my soon to be former-wife - and all others who look at the performance in isolation - will miss the bigger picture. They won't see the five hours of brilliant radio that surrounded it. Plus the blogs and the newspaper previews and the TV interviews and Bacon's twitterings. They all helped make it what it was. Enthralling.

Richard Bacon is lucky. He experiences this all the time. The reason he was fired from Blue Peter always obscures the fact that he was the 23rd best presenter of the show. And that's really unfair. On John Leslie. So Richard knows how to handle misinformed criticism. But what about me? I haven't got that experience. I am going to look stupid saying, "You really had to be there." No one wanted to be there. Not even Bacon.

So I need to think carefully about what I am going to do now. For the next week or two people will be aware that there was a bigger picture. They can listen to it on the BBC iPlayer. But when that's gone and we are left with just the video evidence, Richard Fakeon may have to be locked away. Which is probably a good place for him. The novelty of that name has quickly worn off and now I cringe more when I hear it than I would watching the Richard Bacon Final Farewell Tour DVD.

But it's all good. Because I don't think Richard Bacon needs me now. I made him look good for a few months, but over the last two nights he has made himself look good. So I think my work here might be done. Tremendous.
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In Bacon I Trust
// By Jonathan


I'll be honest with you. I'm a bit nervous. No, I'll rephrase that. I'm terrified.

Tomorrow night my livelihood is at stake. On Thursday August 27th 2009, at about 11.10pm, I will find out whether I have a future or not. Whether I can walk up the road with my head held high or whether I will need to buy some giant sunglasses and start wearing my baseball cap in the way it was originally intended.

The worst thing about this event, is that my fate is not in my hands. It has been firmly placed in the hands of 5Live presenter Richard Bacon. It's not a place I am comfortable being. And sadly, a stage, in front of an expectant audience, is not a place I am comfortable with Richard Bacon being either. Let me explain, without any consultation with me at all, my most successful spoofee ever, has decided to perform stand-up comedy. That's right. Stand-up comedy! At the Edinburgh Fringe. What utter, utter madness.

I wouldn't mind if I wasn't so reliant on him being brilliant day-in, day-out. But I am. In the last couple of weeks, for example, I've suffered the repercussions of his radio interview with the Duchess of York. Emails such as, "...this buffoon should not be allowed to broadcast on hospital radio, he is the pits..." have arrived in their half-dozen. Yes, when someone decides they don't like Richard Bacon's work, they send ME emails. ME! I cop the abuse too! The fact that the interview wasn't anything to do with me, makes no difference to some people. Because I think Richard Bacon is a talented broadcaster - and find him ridiculously easy to parody - people feel compelled to abuse me if they disagree. This is of course due to that bizarre human trait some people have - the need to voice their disgust at something they do not agree with/like/understand. (Something that could easily form a post of it's own. And one I may tackle in due course).

But back to the point. As I say, I think Richard Bacon is a talented broadcaster. What I doubt he is, is a talented stand-up. I base this purely on hunch of course, and I hope he proves me wrong. But I am bracing my email inbox for one almighty backlash. I think he's amusing in a drunk uncle kind of way you see, but rarely does the drunk uncle way lend itself successfully to the world of stand-up. If he does pull it off though, well, then my career will go from strength to strength. I could find myself parodying a B-lister instead of the C-lister Richard surely considers himself now.

But what if he fails? What if he's heckled? What if he falls on his sword? That will be the end of me. My reputation will be shot to pieces. Who wants to know someone who parodies wannabes? The abuse will come in droves. But this time it won't just be abuse because I am associated with the failures of Richard, it'll be abuse because I parody a male Kerry Katona. I'll start getting more Dickensian prose like this, "...you sad, pathetic ****. bacon is a smug, talentless **** and you waste time in your life doing this ******* tripe. you **** ******* *******". My fragile heart can't handle that again. It'll break me.

So, for the love of Bacon, please don't cock it up Richard. If you don't get out alive, neither do I.
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The Art Of The Spoof: Part One.
// By Jonathan


Who would have thought that I would receive 356 requests to do a post about spoofing? Certainly not me. And I'd have been right. (Well done Jon). I, of course, haven't received any. But that's not to say there aren't people out there who are interested in this most creative of arts. And spoofing is an art. So, for those 356 people, this - and subsequent - posts are going to be an education.

First, let me share with you my credentials. You don't want to be taking advice from any old spoofer do you? Well, in summary, I have spoofed everyone from the great to the good. From Richard Bacon to Ricky Ponting. From Grace Kelly to Henry Kelly. I have spoofed so many people, so accurately, that it prompted Sir Michael Parkinson to dub me The Rory Bremner of the Written Word. Okay, this isn't actually true, but he has thought it. Probably. Basically, I'm pretty good.

So let's get started on the fundamentals.

1. Why The Written Spoof.

There are many kinds of spoof and many ways of going about performing it. I favour the written spoof. In fact all my spooves (that's a hybrid of spoof and move) are written. They may be blogs, they may be letters, they maybe newspaper articles. Whichever method I choose, you can be assured that you will have to do some reading. There are a number of reasons why I go for the written spoof. The main one is that I can do it in my pyjamas. Others include the lack of the need for make-up and not having to get on a bus. If you feel that your talents lie in vocal impressionism, then this probably isn't the article for you. (Incidentally, the written spoof benefits your spellchecker too. So it's all good).

2. Identify Your Target

Now there is no point is spoofing any old person. Or young person for that matter. Not if you want to be spoken about in the same breath as me. You need to choose someone who other people are keen to see spoofed. Generally this means someone other people like or dislike. A big no-no is to go for someone who people are indifferent about. My nailed-on test for this is to think about your target and then think about Austria. If you have the same kind of feelings for each of them, cross them off your list. Once you have a list of - let us say - ten people, read onwards. A good tip is to also pick people who are alive. Grace Kelly was a bitch to do.

3. Are They Spoofable?

You would be naive to think that everyone on your list can be spoofed. Some - like Adolf Hitler - have been done before. I mean you are never going to stand out next to Mein Kamper Van are you? Others - like Nicolas Sarkozy - for reasons I still don't fully understand, speak predominantly French. Thus to spoof such a person would involve buying a French-English/English-French dictionary. Basically a waste of time/effort/money when there are others on the list that you can get stuck into immediately.

So you have eight people left. Who are they? At a guess Jeff Goldblum, Rod Hull, Roger Federer, Jennifer Aniston, Ant or Dec, Simon Cowell, someone from Blue Peter & Harriet Harman. That's a solid list. Nice one. Now you need to work out if they have any mannerisms that you can pick up on and parody to Pluto and back. And when I say mannerisms I am really talking about things they say regularly. Jennifer Aniston touching her hair is lovely and everything, but it's not going to come across in a piece of spoofified literature is it? To give you a better idea, here is a a personal insight. When I was studying Richard Bacon I noticed he says 'ironic', 'tremendous', 'Danny Wallace' and 'Richard Bacon' a lot. Now, I think you'll agree that this is spoofing material of a gold standard. Mannerisms really are your most important assets. They are oxygen to you. A target without mannerisms is like a spoofer without a pen. Pointless.

So for next week this is your task. Study the people on your list. What are their mannerisms? What do they say a lot? Which is their favourite Sylvanian Family? This is the information that will help identify whether they are indeed spoofable. Or not.

If you have topics you want me to cover within the whole spoofing related arena, please leave a comment. I read them all. And nearly always reply too. Oh, and if there is someone you want me to spoof, tell me that too.
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