Jolly Interesting Stuff™

The bizarre thing is that it lasts only 20 seconds. While it was happening I could have sworn it was lasting a lifetime. I could also have sworn I said 'brilliant' every other word instead of just twice, and finally, I was pretty sure I spent most of my time looking away from the camera. I am more than happy to see that I was just being paranoid. Mostly. Unfortunately, it's not all good news. In years to come I will be haunted by two things. My strange jaw movements and sudden head jerking is one. My gingerness is the other. The first I can probably work on, the second needs some serious man management. As a result, I have decided to start shaving every hour for the rest of my life and not letting my hair grown longer than 10mm. (That's the hair on my head obviously - the hair on my chin doesn't grow one centimetre every hour. That would be ridiculous).

And two things about what I actually said. When I said Andrew Strauss wasn't a natural leader, I actually meant natural captain. There is a major difference. Sorry about that dude. And when I said egos, that wasn't a cheap shot at KP. I was, rather inarticulately I admit, trying to suggest that to be a captain, you have to understand what makes everyone tick and not just expect them to go your way - 'The KP Way' as it was when he was capitano. Something the dude Straussy seems to have done very well. I should probably have just said that, shouldn't I?

It is hard to explain how utterly delicious, how utterly contented, how utterly at peace I feel. I would love to be able to bottle this feeling. To be able to go back to it whenever I felt the need. But this is sport. And so to experience incredible highs you must experience incredible lows. To bottle the feelings of today I would have to bottle those I felt after Adelaide in '06. And I never want to feel like that again. But I almost certainly will. And we will. Which is why today, tomorrow, this week, you will see millions of us cherishing the moment. And millions of us will be basking in the glow of Andrew Strauss' smile. It's a beautiful place to be.

You have caught me at a good time. This will be the highlight of my day. Usually it would be seeing my children on Father's Day but the wife has run off with the milkman and taken them with her.

When I was younger I thought Australians must walk around upside down. I now realise this was a stupid thing to believe as the world is in fact flat.

I love it when you call. Unless I'm in the toilet.

I can't stand it when people look like they don't care. Even if you don't care at least look like you do. It'll make me feel a whole lot better. I'm thinking Steven Gerard in an England kit here.

The last time I got stuck in a traffic jam I was on the bus as there was a tube strike. I sat next to a man who was hopefully on his way home to have a shower.

Elvis Presley came before Elvis Costello, which is just as well because Blue Hawaii wouldn't have been half the film with Costello as the lead.

No one will ever convince me that Davina McCall is anything other than a very annoying woman who still thinks she is sixteen.

The difference between being funny and being boring is your choice of audience.

Last night would have been a whole lot better if I had not lost my oyster card and dropped my kebab on the floor as soon as I had bought it.

The one piece of advice I will offer you is this. Believe in yourself. If you don't believe in yourself then why should anyone else. Oh, and don't eat your kebab if you have just dropped it on the floor.

There is nothing I like more than watching the French riot about the price of edam cheese.

In five years time this will be on page 524 of your blog.

I want to thank my Mum for teaching me how to iron bed sheets. I have impressed many a girl with this talent over the years. Especially when their boyfriend is due back in the next ten minutes.

When I've finished this I will make my breakfast and read the Sunday Times.