Help! We Are Under Attack
As I write this something terrible is happening. Twitter is under attack. Yes, you did read that correctly. Twitter is under attack. To be honest that doesn't even begin to tell the severity of the situation. The sad truth is that Twitter is actually down. It's been knocked off it's feet. It is lying on the floor in a crippled state. It's dying. The cause of this outage is a 'Denial-Of-Service' attack. I had no idea what that was so I looked it up. Sadly, I still don't know what it is. But it's pretty average. Maybe even bad.
The only reason I was made aware of this is because I was sent a text by someone asking me if Twitter was down. (I won't tell you who it was, but she says hello). Now, I know what you are thinking, 'Can I have your phone number too?'. Yes, of course you can. Now, I strongly suspect that she texted me because I know what to do in such circumstances. I have a reputation for being calm under pressure and for having a very creative imagination. It didn't take me long to think up the answer.
Make the world a better place
There are a couple of things that are annoying us at the moment. Swine Flu and the recession. Let's be honest there is no correlation between Swine Flu and Twitter. There is, however, certainly a correlation between this recession and Twitter. As a planet, our productivity is shocking. 75% of our working day is spent on social networking sites, 20% is spent at lunch and only 5% is spent doing what we should be doing. (Statistics according to jollyinterestingstuff). So lets have a real crack at it today. I see this as a massive opportunity for the world. Lets up our productivity. Let's lift ourselves out of the recession. Without our usual distractions we really can do it.
Ah, it's 5pm in the UK. We're going home. People of the Americas, both North and South. It's over to you. Make Britain Proud.
Edit: 17:16(BST)- Bugger. It took me so long to write this that Twitter is back. Oh well, at least I can link to it now.
