Jolly Interesting Stuff™

It's amazing when you have a week off. Even if it's an unintentional week off like this one. You get sidetracked by origami and ginger cake. And, if you're lucky, you remember you used to do a blog. A blog like this one. There was a time when I was proud of this blog. It was a hub of activity and an integral part of 33 people's daily internet viewing. These days it hides in the shadows of other more important and popular irritants. It's sad really, I know I should do something to give it life, but like a doctor bored with his patient, I am happy to let it fade away. Unfortunately, I don't find myself possessing the necessary sadistic qualities. Everytime I try to let it die, I feel a tinge of regret. I remember - fondly - times when I used to write about American and Russian cocktails and I was in a thriving relationship with a young African girl who didn't exist. I want to write like that again. Or, more is the point, I want to feel like I want to write like that again. It was easy before. I didn't need to force it. I was just able to write. I don't know if I am suffering from a major case of 'bloggers block' or whether it is simply a case that young African millionaires have lost my email address. I guess that sounds like a cliché, but it's true. I did decide yesterday, though, that I should at least try. So we have a new layout and a new post. Maybe that will inspire me. Maybe it won't. But we'll enjoy finding out won't we?

This post was brought to you by tea and Test Match Special.

It's been nearly a month since I went on holiday. How time flies when you are thinking about enjoying yourself. Not that it was exactly a holiday. It was more a case of doing what I usually do without stopping occasionally to update my blog. Kind of. In fact, the real truth goes much deeper. I have, after much deliberation, been putting an end to what I usually do. You see, in the last year I agreed to get involved in approximately 33,786 projects. Approximately. Now, while I have the brain capacity to complete such trivialities, what I don't possess is the time, the inclination, the lung capacity or the direct access to a girl guides motorbike stunt display team (that was a strange project idea). It finally dawned on me that with so many projects on the go none of them were actually moving forward at anything like the speed I needed them to. Skodas have travelled up hills faster. The only way to rectify this has been to do some culling. So, here is a quick breakdown of what is staying and what is going from Lee Enterprises. Let's start with the goners.

The US iPod Challenge. For the time being the mammoth 73,000 mile road trip between New York and San Francisco - that esteemed architect Nicholas Kennedy and I were planning on tackling - has been shelved. Out of all the projects this was the hardest one to say goodbye to. We've spent years planning it. We have sponsors. We have petrol (or gasoline). We have a car. We have a sat-nav. We have a compass. We have a tent. Come to think of it, the only thing we don't have is an iPod. So why have we shelved it? Well, basically it comes down to time. We don't have it. Not now. Nicholas is having a baby. So is his wife. I am having roast beef. We may come back to it in five years.

One Night One Hundred Buses. Now I know some people thought the idea of me trying to set a world record for the number of buses caught on one night was a bit stupid. I can see your point of view, but it actually wasn't. It was actually quite cool. Now, though, you'll just have to take my word for it because it has been postponed. And when I say postponed, I mean expelled from my mind. It's a time thing again really. The getting on the 100 buses in one night is the easy bit, that hard part will come afterwards when I have to edit it all. I want to do it properly and that means concentrating on it 24/7. Something I can't commit to. If I spend less than all my time on it, it's just going to end up as a 'direct to YouTube' film. And the idea deserves so much more than that. I also need to prove you all wrong. One day you'll be forced to apologise to me though. This project is not totally dead yet.

Sandra Bullock. I am no longer paying attention to her. I'm glad she won her Oscar, but as far as our future together goes, well I think that was just infatuation on my part. And lust on hers.

So that's the bad news out of the way - particularly for Sandra - so what about the good news? Well here is what I will be doing this year. (Yes, I guess some of these could also be deemed bad news. Perhaps I should have done a vote?).

Strauss v Ponting: The Ashes Diaries 2010/11. The 2009 was a very half-hearted effort. So half-hearted in fact that I actually gave up before The Ashes started. That's quite a poor effort by anyone's standards. In the end I spent all summer doing it via Twitter. Which, while proving moderately popular with Michael Slater and the Barmy Army, didn't really help me in a professional sense. So this time it's going to be the proper thing. Not that I know which publication is going to let me run with it yet, but one will. They'd be silly not to.

The sitcom. I can't quite remember when I first said I was writing a sitcom, but it must have been nearly a year ago. Funnily enough it's not quite finished yet. Or should that be not quite started yet? Anyway, it's going to happen. I even have books on scriptwriting.

7 Reasons. Yes, I'll still be churning out irreverent reasonings on a wide variety of as yet unthought of topics. Which reminds me, I must discuss the idea of having June - August off so that I can have a life.

So that's where we are at. You may have spotted the pattern. Out are going the random missions and the filming of the random missions, remaining and being pushed to the forefront is the writing. I guess the truth is that I enjoy writing more than I do travelling around on four wheels.

Without getting too 'acceptance speech-ish', I do want to say thank you to the ridiculously large number of people have been in touch over the last year offering their services (not like that) and wishing me luck - especially with the US iPod Challenge and One Night One Hundred Buses. I know I have a habit of occasionally appearing to be a self-loving egocentric narcissist, but I am not really. I'm actually quite nice and I am always very grateful and humbled when people get in touch for whatever reason. So thank you and I am sorry if you feel I have let you down in some way. To make it up to you I am coming back to Jolly Interesting Stuff on a permanent basis again. Never will you have to go for longer than a few days without reading a bit of nonsense here. Right, let's rock.

Make sure you watch this before this. I have never been spoofed before, but now I have, I kinda like it. More please. I won't advertise who did this. They use the power of the subliminal.

This is supposed to be Marc Fearns-esque.

Sorry, it's been a pretty quiet ten days on here hasn't it? I don't expect to keep your attention by uploading photos of my birthday cake and severe facial burn, so you'll be pleased to know that this is my latest blog post. (The birthday cake and the severe facial burn are unrelated by the way).

As with most things Jonathan Lee, there is a reason. A reason why I have been lacking on the old 'updating of blog' front. In fact, there are a few reasons. Some more important than others. Some more interesting than others. I'll stick to the jolly interesting ones.

So, in at number one is my newly discovered desire to become a triathlete. I have often fancied myself as something of an all round sporting talent. If there was a competition that involved every sport going, I would probably win quite comfortably. And still have time to blog. Sadly there is no such competition. The closest thing to it is the Decathlon but I lack the pole that one requires to vault with. So to triathlon it is that I am turning. My first worry was what I would look like in a wetsuit. I needn't have sweated over it quite so much. Pretty damn fine is the general consensus. So with that disaster handsomely avoided I see no reason why London 2012 should not be a target.

Numero deux (number two), is that I have embarked on a new writing project for the summer. I am keeping it under wraps for now while I try and persuade some nice people to back it, but it won't be long before you find out what it comprises. No, it doesn't involve Richard Bacon.

And finally, I have been somewhat pre-occupied with Tom Cruise. Is it me or are 'Top Gun' and 'Days of Thunder' exactly the same film? They have just swapped F-14's for stock cars and Kelly McGillis for Nicole Kidman. Clever.

Right, that'll do for now. I'm off for a good peel.