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I woke up this morning hoping that yesterday had all been a bad dream. It didn't take me long to realise that it hadn't. The news I so longed not to hear, was confirmed. Lee Mack was a fraud. (Disclaimer: That's the Lee Mack on twitter. Not the real Lee Mack. He's just fine.)

In the space of twelve hours I have gone from thinking this very blog was the source of inspiration for one of the UK's top comedians, to realising that actually, there is just some guy, probably a spotty teenager called Geeky Norm, who reads this blog while pretending to be Lee Mack. That is my readership. Right there.

There are many reasons why I believed @Lee_Mack to be real. And they are three-point:

Number one: Danny Wallace said he was. When Danny Wallace says Lee Mack is on twitter you don't automatically think, 'Ah ha! Must be fake!' - unless you are Lee Mack of course. Most people - and there were thousands of us - went galavanting over and pressed follow.

Number Two: I actually thought he was quite funny. He was doing the kind of thing I would expect Lee Mack to do if ever he joined twitter. He was picking on a young unsuspecting individuals and accusing them of setting up hundreds of accounts which dipicted Britney in some ungainly act.

Number Three: He seemed to be having quite a conversation with other 'celebrity' twitterers and none of them seemed to be battering an eyelid.

I suppose I should have twigged something was amiss when he started asking for links to blogs. I have never seen Lee Mack as someone who reads blogs. I am still not entirely sure whether he has got to grips with books. But still, people sent them to him and he retweeted them and he said they were great. Maybe he'll do the same with mine, I thought. So I wrote, 'Hi Lee, I know you read this already, give me a shout out mate. Thanks.'. Two minutes later he had told everyone something along the lines of, 'If you read one blog today, make sure it is this one!' Well, you can imagine how ecstatic I was. Lee Mack was recommending my blog over everyone else's! That was quite something. Something better than good!

So I was - along with everyone else he had plugged, followed and abused - on something of a high. Until about 8pm. At 8pm I got some disturbing news. Lee Mack had disappeared. (From twitter). My heart plunged. My stomach twisted. Had I just been done? I panicked and stubbed my toe. Was it a technical glitch? Please let it be a glitch. But as the minutes and the hours ticked by, it soon became clear that it wasn't a glitch. It soon became clear that we may well have just been had for breakfast.

As I went to bed there was still a glimmer of hope. No one had actually confirmed he was a fake.

But I think, deep down, I knew.

Which takes us to this morning. I saw the news first from Danny Wallace, 'Sorry, that @lee_mack was a fake.' I sighed a sigh of pained resignation. Hoping that Danny had meant, '@lee_mack was a cake', I went to see what others were saying. Andrew Collins put the nail in my coffin though, 'Newsflash: the Lee Mack many of us followed was a fake. I've had it confirmed by the man himself'. Urgh.

I feel a little disappointed of course. Who wouldn't? I don't feel angry or bitter though. Just slightly bemused. And a little frustrated. Not at the fake Lee Mack but at myself for falling for it. I guess the signs were there really and I should have picked up on them. I suppose if it has cleared one thing up, it is that I would be rubbish on Spooks. I'd get killed off in the first episode for sure.

So that was the adventure that was Lee Mack Monday. Maybe I can coin a phrase. I've been Lee Macked.

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  1. I find this all really confusing.

  2. Penelope Keith9 June 2009 at 16:43

    I was unaware that Barry Norman is a reader of this blog. That's super.

  3. Does that mean I have been Jonathan Leeed?

  4. I wish someone would fake me

  5. We should all get together and do something. Not you Gordon, despite your love of rugby, you haven't got a great track record when it comes to doing things.

  6. Am I the only genuine celebrity that reads this blog?

  7. What does celebrity mean?

  8. Katie Price is a DD list Celebrity at best.

  9. Audrey Hepburn9 June 2009 at 22:29

    How does one become Leeed? I would be most interested.

  10. As much as I want it to happen Audrey, it is illegal. Sorry.

  11. See ya. Have a great time and don't forget me.

  12. Where am I now?