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As I write this something terrible is happening. Twitter is under attack. Yes, you did read that correctly. Twitter is under attack. To be honest that doesn't even begin to tell the severity of the situation. The sad truth is that Twitter is actually down. It's been knocked off it's feet. It is lying on the floor in a crippled state. It's dying. The cause of this outage is a 'Denial-Of-Service' attack. I had no idea what that was so I looked it up. Sadly, I still don't know what it is. But it's pretty average. Maybe even bad.

The only reason I was made aware of this is because I was sent a text by someone asking me if Twitter was down. (I won't tell you who it was, but she says hello). Now, I know what you are thinking, 'Can I have your phone number too?'. Yes, of course you can. Now, I strongly suspect that she texted me because I know what to do in such circumstances. I have a reputation for being calm under pressure and for having a very creative imagination. It didn't take me long to think up the answer.

Make the world a better place

There are a couple of things that are annoying us at the moment. Swine Flu and the recession. Let's be honest there is no correlation between Swine Flu and Twitter. There is, however, certainly a correlation between this recession and Twitter. As a planet, our productivity is shocking. 75% of our working day is spent on social networking sites, 20% is spent at lunch and only 5% is spent doing what we should be doing. (Statistics according to jollyinterestingstuff). So lets have a real crack at it today. I see this as a massive opportunity for the world. Lets up our productivity. Let's lift ourselves out of the recession. Without our usual distractions we really can do it.

Ah, it's 5pm in the UK. We're going home. People of the Americas, both North and South. It's over to you. Make Britain Proud.

Edit: 17:16(BST)- Bugger. It took me so long to write this that Twitter is back. Oh well, at least I can link to it now.

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14 comments:

  1. I still can't sign into twitpic though *weeps*. And I am wearing my Sherlock Holmes hat and scouring facebook for clues I now know who it was who texted you.

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  2. You should do a blog of all your artwork. And does facebook really give you that sort of answer? That is a bit disturbing.

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  3. Twitter went down on one of the few days that I could have wasted time tweeting rather than working, I worked instead and was actually moderately productive.

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  4. Well done Simon. You are an inspiration to us all. Does anyone else have any stories like Simon's? Share them with us.

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  5. well i want to know who it was!!!

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  6. I do believe that it increased my productivity at work. I was working until 7pm which is ridiculous and probably would not have happened if twitter wasn't under siege.

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  7. @Nick: No.
    @Sarah: Splendid. I am going to try and bring it down again this Thursday. Get ready.

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  8. This Thursday is good for me. I need to get out of work early and over to Oxford for dinner so if you could shut it down at approx 2pm so I could focus on the afternoon's work, I'd be extremely grateful.

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  9. Just noticed a typo:
    "It took me so look to write this..." It took you so look?

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  10. Thanks Sarah. The benefits of coming back and re-reading something ten days later. You don't fancy reading every other post again do you?

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  11. It is Thursday and Twitter is down again. Did you do this Jonathan?

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  12. It's Monday and Twitter is down again. Is it you this time Jonathan, or is it only you on Thursdays?

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