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I often find myself hankering back to the good old times. The times before iPods and pyramid-shaped tea-bags and hoverboards. Even though I wasn't there, it just seems to have been so much more simple. The only thing simple about the world today is Jordan. Yes, in some ways it's better, my electric razor gives me an extra five minutes in bed and to get milk for my tea I just have to open the fridge instead of finding a roaming cow. But in other ways, life today is a pain in the backside. I have a DAB radio that only gives me a crisp, clear signal if I don't sit on the sofa. I have a wi-fi connection that seemingly wanders off to Hammersmith whenever it bloody well feels like it and I have a state of the art lamp that is about as bright as Max Clifford's client list. Technology. Who needs it?

Well I do. Because it allows me to dream about an easier time. There isn't much worth watching on TV, but when I do find myself sitting on the sofa - simultaneously laughing at my DAB radio - it is invariably because I am about to watch something based in the yesteryear. Whether it's the 1940's Belgian Resistance series, Secret Army, or the 1960's advertising drama, Mad Men, I love it. I love the clothes, the unfiltered cigarettes, the cars and the dodgy accents. Most of all I love the fact that conversations last longer than thirty seconds before someone picks up their iPhone to check their twitter account. I long to experience this life for myself, but as I can't I am thankful to those who never let us forget that once upon a time people liked spam and women wore suspenders and Gordon Brown wasn't our Prime Minister and a blackberry was something you ate.

As a result, I get quite excited when I see some new film or drama coming up that features outrageous sideburns. Recently I was excited at the prospect of the Damned Utd and only last week found myself excited and then highly pleasured by the BBC's Micro Men - the battle between Clive Sinclair and Chris Curry for the 1980's computer market. (It's on the BBC iPlayer until 18th October if you haven't seen it). Now I find myself excited by the prospect of Sex, Drugs and Rock'n'Chips. It's a one-off 90-minute prequel to Only Fools and Horses. But there is a problem. I love Only Fools and Horses. Really love it. What I did not like was the spin-off, The Green Green Grass. That was bad. Bad, bad, bad. So bad, that I swore I would never watch any subsequent Only Fools and Horses related spin-off or sequel ever again. I didn't want to see something I love tarnished anymore. So of course what does John Sullivan do? He writes a prequel that is set in the 1960's. Genius is not the word. He is causing me great distress. I either watch it whilst hiding behind a cushion preparing to cringe or I ignore it and in doing so ignore two of my loves. (Three if you include Nicholas Lyndhurst). I really don't know what to do.

So, I think you'll agree when I say that this proves beyond doubt that living in the modern world is a nightmare and the sooner we ignore global warming and invest in a Time Machine the better. Ideally one you don't have to plug in.

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Ali Bajwa
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  1. Weird. I agree with all of those words. If you haven't seen it already, I can thoroughly recommend BBC4's Electric Dreams, which is available on iPlayer until next week - by which time I should be back on form, disagreeing with you and poking fun at stuff.

  2. Yep, Electric Dreams is brilliant. I was going to mention it, but for some reason wanted to call it Electric Visions and knew that was wrong. It's good to agree from time to time, Marc. Did you also fancy the late Caron Keating? That was what I did for most of the late 80's.